I’m Just Sayin’

Sneaky Sound System rocks my world.

Popularity: 6% [?]

ND legislature is pushing to pass a bill that gives constitutional rights to an embryo. The bill has already passed through the House and will now go before the Senate. In other words, abortion could be charged as murder.

Seriously.

What I’d like to know is what other civil liberties this grants the fetus… Does the mother now have the right to vote twice? Or better yet, warrants required to conduct an ultrasound! At least fetuses would no longer be denied the right to bear arms.

The “Personhood” bill was introduced by Republican Dan Ruby of Minot (*le sigh…), who said he thinks it will put North Dakota on the map as being the first state in years to legitimately challenge Roe v. Wade. Yeah Ruby, good thinking. Instead of riding slightly under the radar and enjoying a quiet and happy existence, let’s make the state known for being the most ass backwards in the country. Texas, looks like you’re off the hook!

Okay, so what about the cases of rape, incest or endangerment to the mother? Perhaps authorities will so sympathetic as to reduce the charges from murder to manslaughter. And really, it’s not like rape has historically been hard to prosecute/prove… It won’t at all be difficult for a woman who falls pregnant because of a rape to defend herself against murder charges in an already trying time. It’s not like that could ever get tied up in court for, say, 9 months… “Ooops, too late! Deal with it.”

Ugh, I’ve never been embarrassed of where I come from until today. And no, I’m not “pro-abortion”; I’m pro-choice, pro-logic, pro-21st century. Fuck you very much, North Dakota, for raising and educating me enough to know how ridiculous this bill is.

Popularity: 5% [?]

As much as I dig the trusty Cutline theme I’ve been sporting on here, the time was nigh for a little design update. I’m still working out the bugs, so bear with me.

Popularity: 3% [?]

Friday nights were never the same after “Are You Afraid of the Dark” joined the SNICK lineup back in ‘92. Oh how I loved that clan of misfit teenagers and their tales featuring terrifying characters like a cigar smoking clown, a quiet librarian and Melissa Joan Hart. Oh, and who could forget Gilbert Gottfried’s stellar performance as the radio DJ whose songs took listeners beyond the grave.

I wish I was kidding.

Anyway, you can about imagine my excitement when I stumbled upon a couple of episodes of a spoof series “Are You Afraid of the Dark: The Later Years.” It’s a hilarious walk down memory lane. Enjoy.

Popularity: 5% [?]

Somehow the old Kevin McCallister Talkboy came up in conversation over the holidays between my brother and I. (I suspect this resurfaced because since the commercial aired in ‘93, he and I have collectively repeated the line “Hi kids, we’re home early.” somewhere in the ballpark of 6,391 times.)

It was again mentioned in our conversation today (we’re weird and obsessive like that), so I dug up the clip and it’s renewed my deep irrational want for the Talkboy.

WHO HAS ONE?!

Popularity: 3% [?]

Yet another mention of that dirty R-word that plagues our economy and saturates our conversations – and hey, why not throw in a little global warming for good measure too. But apparently no such concerns exist at the Palazzo Versace in Dubai, which is set to build the world’s first refrigerated beach.

Wait, what?

The 7 star luxury hotel is installing a system of pipes beneath the sand that contain a coolant and will suck heat from the surface; the entire system will be controlled by thermastats linked to computers. There are also pending plans to refrigerate the swimming pool and  install blowers to provide beach-goers with a gentle “sea-breeze.” All of this is done in the name of keeping guests’ tootsies comfortable as they stroll along the beach. (The ultra rich would never be caught dead in a tacky pair of flip flops!)

But hey, what’s all this fuss about carbon footprints anyway? It’s a balmy 60 degrees in NYC today – just a normal winter’s day.

Popularity: 3% [?]

Someone go rally the ninjas… it’s time for a showdown!

Over the weekend, around 29 pirate vessels attempted to hijack the American-operated M/S Nautica while it passed through the waters between Yemen and Somalia. The luxury liner was carrying about 650 passengers and 400 crew members and was headed to port in my old stomping grounds of Fremantle, Western Australia.

Someone other than the Recording Industry is being attacked by pirates? Shiver me timbers, I didn’t realize that this still occurred.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Ginger kids – also known as rangas, day walkers, fire crotch – were under attack last week by the 5,000 member strong Canadian Facebook group “Kick a Ginger Day.” The group was apparently inspired by a South Park episode and urged its members to “get them steel toes ready” for the November 20th event, which ironically fell during the international Bullying Awareness Week.

Gingers, who are believed to be soulless carriers of the incurable Gingervitis, have long been the target of ridicule. They deserve our compassion – from a safe distance, of course.

Popularity: 6% [?]