No matter if you’re Team Barack or otherwise - this video is HILARIOUS. But I do think this actor’s skin is far too taught to be playing the part of Grandaddy McCain…
Sarah Palin’s updo’s are in fact mesmerizing…7th grade boys across the country must be crushing hard.
It’s no secret that I love me some fail, so my friend Jake shared this little nugget that he stumbled upon in his doctor’s office.
Seems cute, right?… Nice little calendar provided by some New York public health initiative - from the looks of it, it probably even involved a coloring contest!
Let’s zoom in a bit on this little work of art… Wait? Who’s that little guy dancing around there?
Uh oh. And there’s more.
I think the asthma issue that this campaign addresses may be the least of our worries.
Anniversary Week is still on, so i thought I’d keep the ball rolling with a little comparative analysis.
[note: Anniversary Week is not to be confused with Shark Week, which is running simultaneously this week and also aims to bore the living hell out of people]
Traffic on the Kwinana Freeway is heavy southbound from the city through to Mill Point Road. Main Roads reports that after that, the run is good until the end of the freeway…
This month, buses began rolling out wearing an advertising wrap from bumper to bumper. 4 Bears Casino in New Town purchased wrap advertising for four buses. Two currently are on the streets and a third will soon join them…
“We are excited about it,” Dan Jonasson, assistant public works director for Minot, said. “I am hoping we can maybe do our garbage trucks.”
The day after a video emerged of a cop knocking a cyclist to the ground, a second tape surfaced yesterday, showing an NYPD officer whaling away at a man’s legs with a baton…
this week marks the 1 year anniversary of my return to US soil, so i think it makes sense to do a VH1-esque year in review [in a nice little keynote chart... omg, iWork rules my life]
ABOUT YOU:
You are a young and good-looking girl. The parental abuse that you incurred as a child has left you emotionally distant and sexually repressed. You are able to sustain months (years?) of loneliness because you shudder at the thought of human interaction. You have a constant feeling of inadequacy leading to excessive hours on the elliptical machine (and, accordingly, a nicely toned bum). I might do stuff to you while you are sleeping at 4AM (when I finally get home from the office), but, other than that, our sex-life will be nonexistent. Naive girls who have been in long-distance relationships and have had their hearts broken by guys who perpetually cheated are more than welcome to email me; I promise that I’m different.
ABOUT ME:
I am a first year analyst at a bulge-bracket investment bank; this means that I’m either Jewish, Asian, or from old-money (and, therefore, connected up the wazoo). Given that this post is (hopefully) grammatically correct, coherently legible, and satirically palatable, I’d like to think that I got into banking based on merits associated with my intelligence; therefore, I’m probably not from old money and am not connected up the wazoo (sorry).
I got into banking as a result of an overwhelming abundance of insecurities. I went to a top-tiered and prestigious undergraduate university, yet, have always felt inferior to the Harvardites and Princetonians that surround me. I’m likely either short and socially outcasted (with excellent kung-fu skills) or schnoz-nosed and unable to date, as every girl I meet in Manhattan is a UES slut that reminds me of my mother.
I go to the gym every morning, as my unnecessarily ambitious and secretively compensating type-A personality forces me to always strive for the best. That, and also the endorphins released from the exercise keep me elated enough to prevent attempting suicide for at least 24 hours. [more]
Photo courtesy of Heron Preston (http://www.heronpreston.com/)
i love love love the box. (and no, that is not some deep seeded lesbianism finding its way to the surface).
my obession began when i saw it on an episode of gossip girl - you know the one, blair hops on stage for an impromptu strip tease, while chuck leers from a dark corner.
anyway, i’ve been there a few times since then and it’s always an experience. admittedly, some of the acts are little tough to stomach (like the vaj acoustics, for example), however any of the unsavory bits (no pun intended) are undoubtedly overshadowed by the highlights:
an electic crowd ranging from josh hartnett to 30-something frat boys in white suits and cowboy hats who have an unnatural obsession with partying and vodka shots straight from the grey goose bottle
ultra salty popcorn that makes for a great patron chaser
a plush interior that is sort of reminiscent of an old victorian parlor
some of the most awesomely disgusting slash amazing acts - umm, can i get a round of applause for the girl who pulls an entire outfit (with accessories!) from her afro and dresses herself while whirling around on a rotating pedestal?!
the uber expensive drinks, the sexually charged show and the decadent interior make it the ultimate hedonist experience
spotted: serena van der woodson and dan humphrey on the 4 express train in union square last night. …and yes, i am one of those crazy people that can’t separate actors from the characters they play.
my analysis (based on the 2 minutes I spent unabashedly gawking at them)
they’re both short, especially dan (i refuse to accept that i am just awkwardly tall)
dan is meek and serena runs the show
they were riding the subway at 11.30 pm, i thought they were supposed to be classy?
scientific fact: people don’t want to do any actual work in the summer. this causes them to spend a disproportionate part of their day uploading and tagging photos on facebook.
as a direct result of this, i now spend the majority of my day monitoring my newfeed with my left finger poised and ready to untag at a moment’s notice.
apparently summer = mating season in the city, causing “the game” to come up in a disproportionate number of conversations. so today, when i saw rex had posted about this, i decided it was time to address the issue.
first, watch this:
right, i am by no means a pick-up artist, but i think i can share some wisdom from the dimitris i encounter on a regular basis.
1. don’t be overly available - neither in person or correspondence. we don’t want to be bombarded by calls and texts. “surprise visits” are out of the question.
example: i recently went out on a boat with a group of friends. the “captain” of the boat asked for my email so he could let me know when they’d be going out again. here’s a snippet from the 2k email i received hours later (note his availability):
I would love to take you out to dinner one day, my treat.
The evenings I can do it are on, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
There’s a rich vein of good restaurants on Greenwich Street in Tribeca. Here are a few restaurant choices and what Zagat’s and I have to say:
The Harrison 355 Greenwich St. (Harrison St.) A handsome, chic and classy American restaurant (yes they exist).
Tribeca Grill 375 Greenwich St. (Franklin St.) Stylish and cool American- -Robert De Niro’s TriBeCa restaurant.
Salaam Bombay 317 Greenwich St. (bet. Duane & Reade Sts.) The best Indian place in NYC.
Azafran 77 Warren St. (bet. Greenwich St. & W. B’way)- A Spanish tapas place- creative and diverse and hip.
Don’t be shy about choosing between them. I’d prefer to be a gentleman and let you pick a restaurant in your neighborhood so name one. If you don’t have any preference then how about meeting at Salaam Bombay Monday at 7:30 PM? If not, when?
omfg.
2. don’t insult us. this seems obvious, right? it’s not for some.
example: last weekend a guy called me lanky. he tried to wrap it in some jabber about being model-like… please. send that one to the FAIL Blog. insults embedded in compliments are still insults.
*also, do not reference or question our mental health.
3. don’t initiate conversation with, “i own this bar, would you like some drinks?”
this needs no elaboration.
4. if we’re clearly not into it, don’t try to pretend like YOU are rejecting US.
example: the illustration for this one is a follow up to the crazy email mentioned above. to summarize, i told the sender that he was creepy (there were lots of other factors involved in my concluding this) and this is the response:
You know, I can’t shake the feeling I got when I read your email. I’ve given it a few hours now. It’s not the way I expected things to turn after such a carefree day on the water together. I’m going to rescind my offer to meet. There are millions of other people for us to pursue friendships with in NYC; I think we’re both better off in different directions. Good luck with everything.